Like Coming Home
by Incredibly Awkward
Summary: Clare kissed Eli at the Frostival and then told him to save his thoughts for later, after the break. Now the break is over, but will the both feel the same way? Set About a week after the Frostival.
1. Questions

Well guys here it is! My first fanfic. I know I'm not an amazing writer but I hope you all enjoy :)

Here's the first chapter to "Like Coming Home"

**Questions**

* * *

**You know, love is a funny thing. Whoever said it was like an emotional roller-coaster was right. **

**For the most part.**

**Maybe I should throw Eli on one; you know, so that he can see what a real coaster does. So that he can see that a **_**normal**_** roller coaster doesn't go straight up for a few feet, and then somehow plummet two thousand feet to the center of the earth. But then, maybe I shouldn't be comparing our relationship to a **_**normal**_** roller coaster. **

**Because honestly, our relationship was anything but. **

**We've been through a lot, Eli and I. From him running over my glasses when we first met, to him making be scream at the top of my lungs in public. From me telling him to leave Fitz alone, to him completely ignoring me and almost getting stabbed. From us going on our first real date to see **_**Chuck Palahniuk and getting matching piercings, to him getting totally Stalker Angel obsessive on me and crashing his hearse….**_

_"Huh…I might have skipped a little there-"_

"Gee, you think?" Ali said sardonically. We were sitting in front of my computer in my room, looking at the piece I had just written about mine and Eli's relationship. It was actually Ali's idea, to write about what I felt after I had kissed Eli at the Frostival….

The Frostival.

I kissed Eli.

I still can't believe I did it. I couldn't believe it the day after, or even a week after that. I don't believe it now, but the reality is... I did. I kissed Elijah Goldsworthy at the Frostival.

And I can't say I regret it either.

I can say however, that it felt….right. It felt like coming home, and I couldn't wait to tell him that when I saw him…I was a little nervous about that though…

"-so long?" Ali looked at me expectantly, breaking me from my thoughts about Eli. Had I missed something?

I gave her an apologetic look "I'm sorry Ali what did you say? I must have been day dreaming." She gave me a knowing look.

"Honey, you've been like this ever since the Frostival, and don't think I don't know why." I was confused, what could she possibly know? My confusion must have shown on my face because she continued. "Don't play dumb Clare, I know we haven't been talking because of the whole cabin thing" We both winced at the thought. But she recovered quickly "But you're still Clare and I still know you. Ever since you kissed Eli little Saint Clare has been having dirty thoughts about her Ex Gothic Prince, hmm?" She'd said the 'Ex Gothic Prince' part with an awful British accent, reaching out in a longing gesture.

I blushed beat red and looked at the floor. "N-no I wasn't …I mean t-that is-" She tried to suppress a giggle and I cleared my throat biting my lip, mentally cursing myself for stuttering. "Um…Ali what was it exactly that you were saying?"

She laughed a little and rolled her big brown eyes. "Alright alright Clare, change the subject I get it." She put up her hands in surrender and I smiled at her thankfully, the blush still faint on my cheeks. "I was just asking why it's so long. I mean, I only said you should do this so you could get it off your chest and have _fun _over break. Not waist your _whole break _on the thing. This is a freaking biography!" She sounded exasperated and a little disappointed. I felt a little bad I had spent so much time on it instead of hanging out with her. She said for me to do this because she thought I would obsess over it the whole break.

I sighed and smiled sadly at her, moving from my desk chair over to my bed where she was sitting. "I'm so sorry about not seeing you over break, Ali. It's just…" I sighed again, I felt so guilty "I spent tree days working on this and when I was finished my mom and her new hubby insisted Jake and I stay in the house for the remaining four days* because she wanted us to" I put up air quotes " 'Bond as a family' for our first Christmas together."

Ali blinked and shook her head "oh, no Clare I'm not mad. I just wanted to see my friend after not seeing you for so long is all." I nodded

"I know you're not but I am." I sighed for the umpteenth time in the last few minutes "Ali, the whole reason we weren't friends for so long is because of guys getting in between us. I just feel like it's starting to happen again."

She laughed and hugged me tightly "Clarebear you don't even have to worry about that ok? It won't happen again. We just have to make a promise that we won't let guys get in between us ever again." She pulled back and looked me in the eyes, holding out her pinky. "Promise?"

I laughed at the feeling of being 10 years old making pinky promises with my best friend. I smiled and locked my pinky with hers "Promise." We both laughed and hugged again. I really did miss my best friend and I was so glad to have her back.

When we had both came down from our laughing fit, Ali pulled back and looked at me again clearing her throat and wiping the tiny tears out of her eyes. "Now," she said officially, as if she was about to give a speech. I looked at her quizzically. "Enough about us, let's get down to business. About this whole Eli thing. I need to know something before you do anything." I nodded slowly and skeptically, not knowing where exactly she was going with this.

She took a breath as if she was getting ready for something and looked me dead in my eyes. "Clare," She paused searching my eyes. The suspense was absolutely killing me. "Clare, do you still love Eli?"

My heart skipped a beat.

My breath hitched.

Did I still love Eli?

My mouth opened to answer the question but no word came out. I tried again but still nothing. Ali started to get a sort of worried look on her face. "Clare...You ok Clarebear?... Its ok if you-"

Dead Hand began blasting in my room, that was Eli's ringtone. I looked around to find my phone on my pillow. I reached out to grab it and saw that it was a text. I opened it up with Ali reading it over my shoulder.

**-Clare-**

**Hey, did you have a good break? **

**I know we still need to talk since we didn't get to at the Frostival, so do you think we could talk after school? How about, in that area we had lunch in when you spilled cauliflower soup on me? Answer back soon.**

**-Eli-**

"….Oh Clare, you spilled _cauliflower_ on him?"

* * *

*I didn't know exactly how long breaks are in Canada so a made it a week like mine here.

...Well? What did you think? I don't think it was horrible, but its not my best. But hey 1,382 words...Hm, not bad.

If I get reviews next chapter will be Eli's POV :O This should be a three shot if you guys want it to continue :)

Much Love

Incredibly Awkward


	2. Reinsurance

Oh guys! Thanks so much for inspiring me for another chapter. I had reviews, follows, _and _favorites! I already love you guys.

So here it is. In Eli's POV. Chapter two of "Like Coming Home" :

**Reassurance **

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"Oh dude! You so just cheated!" I chuckled at my friend and looked at him sardonically. "Me? Cheating?" I scoffed "I'm not _cheating_ just because I'm _winning_…..and at your game I might add."

He had barely let me finish my sentence when he said "Yeah well I wish you might…not…add" He stopped pushing the buttons on the Xbox controller and narrowed his eyes wondering if he had said that right. Of course I'd known he hadn't but I decided id let him have this one.

I guess _he_ decided he didn't care and went back to playing the game -cough- badly -cough- and I shook my head laughing to myself. "Hey man," He started still not looking up from the game, we hadn't in hours probably. "So what exactly are you going to do about this whole Clare thing?"

I acted like I didn't hear him.

Too bad I'm not an actor…

I'm a writer. I can't act….

He sighed a looked at me pausing the beloved game. "Oh come on man, not cool" I groaned. He shrugged his shoulders and made a face that clearly read 'I Don't Care'

"Dude you cant avoid this forever. Now I know you just got back from visiting your grandparents and everything so I haven't said anything, but you're here now and school starts back up tomorrow. You need to think about this."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, folding my arms across my chest. I probably looked like a little kid pouting because they didn't get their way, but who was he? My mother? I knew what I was doing. "Yeah, thanks mom. You want to lay out my footy jammies for me too?" I mumbled in the most sarcastic tone I could muster.

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, he threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. " You know what Eli? Yeah, fine if it'll get you to talk about this!"

"I don't want to talk about this." I growled through my teeth, he was pushing me and I knew it.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Oh come ON Eli. One word answers? Seriously? You're a writer you can do better than that. Why. Not." He was firm and he was pushing. Still. Pushing.

I growled not wanting to answer. I was starting to get worked up, and he knew it. Why was he doing this? He doesn't usually push me like this. "Because I just don't want to, ok?"

"No not ok Eli. I want to know. Why not?"

"Adam." I warned. I was, for lack of a better word; pissed.

"Eli." He said mockingly.

I growled loudly. Screw holding back, he wanted to know then he'd damn sure find out. I was pissed, my eyes were starting to sting with tears, and that only made me more pissed. I had so many feelings and emotions inside me at that moment. Anger. Pain. Regret. Hurt. Remorse…..Longing….Love

I needed to let it out.

So I did.

I shot up out of my seat on the couch, the tears in my eyes threatening to fall onto my cheeks. I looked him dead in the eyes, seeing his shocked face. He didn't expect me to break so fast.

She makes me weak.

I tried to blink back my tears "I don't want to hurt her." I growled through clenched teeth. "You saw what I did last time we were together. You saw what happened when I was with Imogen, and I wasn't even in love with her. Now here I am, probably more in love with Clare than I've ever been, and you think I can handle that?" One tear fell, I cursed it as it slid down my cheek and stopped at my jaw. Plummeting to the ground. Just like me.

I shook my head, trying to remove those thoughts. "Adam…I-Im unstable….A-And I cant…" I raised my arms a little and then dropped them in defeat "I cant put her though another one of my psychotic episodes."He was about the say something but I stopped looking at him. I had too. I hate seeing pity and sadness in peoples faces everywhere I look. I fell into my couch and put my head in my hands, trying to calm myself down.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, but at the moment I really didn't care. " Hey you two, what's all the yellin' about?" Bullfrog said in his raspy voice. "Hes worried about talking to Clare about" He paused, probably to think about how to put this. '**Crap' **I thought **'Don't tell him everything, he might make it worse.'** Adam continued "You know, what they're gonna do about their relationship."

Way to be discrete Adam. I can always count on you.

"Clarabelle wants you back?" He said probably looking at me. I still hadn't looked up. He scoffed and then said in a completely flat tone. "Great. Finnaly, go for it."

What.

The.

Total.

Fuck!

I shot my head up to see him walking up the stairs. "Wait!" He jolted and stopped, turning around with a "What The Hell" look on his face. "But" I stopped to think, but I couldn't because now my brain was all….confused. 'But you said…With Imogen you said-" He cut me off. I scoffed inwardly. Rude.

I know what I said Eli. But that was Imogen. A girl you hadn't known for long, and you were only A few months into your treatment. I didn't think you were ready….And I was right," I rolled my eyes. Good old Bullfrog, giving himself props whenever he can. "But now you're a little farther along with your treatment. You've been doing a hell of a lot better. You haven't had any episodes since the whole Imogen thing…Well other than this- but I think this is just you, you've always been a cry baby." I glared at him and he smirked. Huh…maybe that's where I get it from. I heard Adam attempting to stifle a laugh. I gave him the same glare and his eyes got wide before he looked down at the ground guiltily.

Bullfrog chuckled and shook his head, slapping one of his big hands on my shoulder "I think you're ready to go back to her kiddo. But hey, it's up to you.  
He gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my shoulder lightly before ascending back up the stairs.

I looked around at nothing, thinking about what he'd just said. Was I really ready to go back to Clare? It felt so right to kiss he at the Frostival. It only lasted a second, but it felt like hours. I know it's a cliché but I never wanted it to end. Ill never stop loving her. I know all that, and I would absolutely love to be with her but…I can't risk hurting her.

Adam broke me out of my thoughts by sitting next to me on the couch. "..Eli?" I looked up at him. He looked guilty. When my eyes met his he looked away. Oh yeah. Guilty. He looked down at his hand that were folded in his lap. "I…I'm sorry I pushed you. I know I shouldn't do that because of your condition. A-And I don't want to cause you to flip out or anything but…but I just wanted you to talk and I-"

I stopped him by putting a hand on hand shoulder. He looked up at me and I gave him a reassuring smile….smirk…thing….

I think my face is broken; I'm completely incapable of smiling….

"Adam it's ok, really. I needed you to push me, that's what friends are for. I should be thanking you actually." He smiled proudly. I continued "But I wont" He frowned and punched me in the arm. I feigned hurt, rubbing my arm. "Ouch, watch it Torres." We both laughed. When we stopped I said "But seriously, thank you"

He shrugged "Eh, no problem." He looked at his phone. "Hey, I gotta go," I nodded at him as he walked towards the door "But Eli," He pause to think. "I'm your friend, and as your friend, I want you to be happy. And when you're with Clare….that's all you ever are." He smiled at me as he opened the door. "See ya later dude" He walked out and shut the door behind him.

I just sat on the couch for about a minuet, staring off into space, before I looked around for my phone. I picked it up and quickly sent a text.

Not five minuets passed before The crap theme music to Twilight began to fill the room.

"For the love of Dead Hand SHUT IT OFF!" Bullfrog yelled from upstairs. I chuckled and yelled back up, "Alright jeez, don't have an aneurism!" I shook my head as I picked up the phone successfully shutting the noise off. Why I ever let Clare choose her own ringtone is beyond me.

I looked at the phone, it read:

**-Eli-**

**Of course we can meet up there, no problem. And again, REALLY sorry about the whole cauliflower thing. You know I'm a cluts. See you then.**

**-Clare-**

I took a deep breath. Well she's ready…

I hope I am.

I sighed looking up at the TV and noticed that Adam's game was still on... I smirked, picking up the controller. This might be a good time to try out those new cheats I'd found.

...What?...Ok so maybe I am a good actor.

* * *

**-facepalms- **

**Sorry if it sucks guys! You will not believe what happened to me! **

**My family was having a yard sale and some kids came by and stole some of my stuff! **

**Stealing...**

**From a y_ard sale..._**

**DaFaq is this?**

**-sigh- Anyway guys I was pissed for part of the time when I wrote it so I wasn't completely thinking straight. But still. You like? Review and tell me what you think will happen next.**

**(Honestly I dont even know xD)**

**Incredibly Awkward**


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